Dear US Taxpayer, I would like to congratulate you on your recent purchase. I am glad I was able to convince you that now is the ideal time to offer an uncapped backstop on a $5.2 trillion book of mortgages. We here at the Treasury Dept (along with our sisters over at the Fed), appreciate your repeat business. I am confident that this acquisition will be a profitable one; perhaps even more profitable than your recent purchase of JPMorgan’s Bear Stearns’ liabilities! Please know that we are actively seeking more deals on which we can work together. I am confident we will find more interesting opportunities before the end of the year. Yours Truly, Hank Paulson
[editor’s update: due to a flood of emails, and for those not familiar with satire: the above is not an actual letter from Treasury secretary Henry Paulson.]
